Putting a pretty shirt over your muffintop doesn't make you a cupcake!

So, the muffintop must go! 

I'm starting this blog to record my weight loss journey. I just joined my first weight loss competition that starts on June 1st and am full to the brim with motivation! What motivates me, you ask? 

I have a long history of struggling with my weight. When I was in my early 20's, I lost 110 lbs. It was a hard journey but I felt like a new person at the end of it. I'm 5'8" and was comfortable in a size 8. Ok, I take that back. I still wanted more. Yeah, I was happy with the progress that I had made but wouldn't wear shorts or tanktops if I wasn't at home because I still didn't like my arms or thighs. Now I look at photos of that girl and just shake my head. I had it all wrong! I looked great! 

Fast forward to now. I'm 34 and have been married for almost 3 years. The year before I got married, we moved to a new state and my whole routine changed. I stopped working out regularly and gained 10 lbs. When we got engaged, I worked out like a madwoman and lost it. After the wedding, I gained that 10 lbs back on our honeymoon. After the honeymoon I found out I was pregnant and stopped working out completely and cut all the sugar-free, fat-free crap out of my diet. That 8-1/2 lb little boy came out and I still had another 65 lbs I had gained. Yikes! I lost a little bit of it after he was born through sheer luck because I had no motivation to do anything. I got pregnant with #2 when my son was a year old and just gave birth 6 weeks ago. Now I am 65 lbs above the weight I had maintained since my loss and am realizing what I've done to my body. I feel overwhelmed to have to go through losing it again, but know I can feel miserable being fat or be uncomfortable losing it.

So, after all that blabbing, I will say I'm motivated by a few different things: 

1. I want my body back for me. I want to wear the closet full of cute clothes that I look at longingly every day (as I sigh and put a maternity shirt on!).

2. I want my husband to be proud of the way his wife looks.

3. I don't want my kids to have a fat mom. 

4. I don't want my insecurities to prevent our family from living a full life. I want to feel ok putting a swimsuit on to take my children to the pool, for goodness sake!

5. I don't want to pass my poor self-image on to my children. I want them to see my confidence and commitment to a healthy lifestyle. 

My goal for this journey is to keep it healthy. I don't want to add back the sugar-free garbage that lets me eat without calories. If it's not good enough for me while pregnant or breastfeeding, it shouldn't be good enough for me when I'm not. I am going to focus on increasing my exercise and practicing mindful eating (along with keeping a food journal). I know I didn't put this on overnight and it won't come off overnight, but I'm looking forward to seeing what I can accomplish over the next four months!