Ug!

I mean that in a good way, I think. I took my 'before' photos yesterday and sent them to Kari for the weight loss competition. It was such an eye opener! I've been telling myself that even though I know how much I weigh, I just carry it well. Hello! Seeing the photos made me realize I'm not carrying it as well as I thought!  It's a good thing, though. It helps me realize how important it is that I stay motivated and get rid of it because I can't fool myself anymore. I also feel totally embarrassed that I actually look like that. I almost apologized to my husband last night for it. I decided not to because I do need to make this journey different. No telling him 'This time I'm serious.' or 'I just need you to help me stay on track.' It needs to be about me and I need to hold myself responsible and show him I can do this. 

The hard part is not letting the weight totally overwhelm me. It just feels like I have such a big journey ahead of me. I'm just trying to break it down day by day and not think too far ahead. Slow and steady wins the race (and the money, hopefully!) lol

So I started thinking about the last time I was successful at losing weight and what I did to make it happen. A few things worked for me that I'm going to try doing again. The biggest one was eating the same things every day. Sounds boring, but it worked. I might switch it up a little bit but the meals will remain basically the same for a few weeks. The other thing is doing cardio 5 day a week and strength training 3 days a week. Now, last time I was only 21 years old and didn't have a 21 month old and a 7 week old to keep me busy. This time I am including my kids in my cardio by doing it with them in the double stroller every afternoon and the strength training I can do after they are in bed. I really have no excuses....I have an awesome treadmill, free weights (barbell & dumbbells), weight bench, giant mirror, exercise bands, stability ball and big screen tv in my basement. There's no reason I can't exercise! 

So, here goes nothing! I'm going to use this blog as my personal journal so I'll apologize now for the rambling....but I want to record everything I'm thinking as I go along to remember all of it!