Pit in my stomach

I sucked so badly in July. Really. Really. Badly. Wait...is it bad or badly? Anyway, you get the point.
Since I weighed myself this morning and saw that I lost absolutely nothing in the month of July, I can't stop thinking about it. I have excuses, oh yes I do. I developed runner's knee in my left knee that prevented me from running (or walk/jogging...who am I kidding?). I also had a million of those days that go like this "Ok, today you can eat this cookie but tomorrow you're done. I mean it this time. Tomorrow there will be no cheese, no coffees, and no sugar."  And you can guess what happens the next day.
So I keep wondering how I can want something so much and not do what I know it takes to get there. I'm starting to think I've made myself so many promises and broken them that I don't even believe myself. So how do I get that back? The only answer I have is to make myself a promise and stick to it. It really isn't that hard, right? I've lost weight before, I know how to do it. I'm just so sad to have to do it again. Ug! I always maintained my loss until I got pregnant with my son and really just got out of control but thought it would all just fall off after he was born. Um, not so much.
So, here's to a new month. Here's to rebuilding the trust I've lost and hoping that this time next month I'll have a giant smile across my face and a few less dimples on my ass. ;)