Where am I?

I weighed myself this morning and I've lost weight for the first week. I should be celebrating! Instead, all the negative thoughts are flooding my mind.
Can I keep this up? Followed by I should be doing more than I am and I don't think I'm losing enough to win anything and I HATE to lose...yes I realize that's not what it's all about but this is a competition! :)
Here's the ugly truth. I don't like to do things that I'm not really good at. Yep, totally true. I hate feeling mediocre. I hate it if I am not instantly the best. So, it kills me to know I'm out of shape and can't just get up and run 5 miles. And I hate the idea of the work it will take to be able to do it. It's humbling, totally humbling!
Another thought....I need to get away from thinking that not exercising or eating right is a 'treat'. Where does that come from? I think that's why I'm so funky right now. I feel like I'm depriving myself which is infuriating because everything I have been doing is to take care of myself.
Speaking of taking care of myself...here's what's worked for the first week: eating basically the same thing every day. Puffed kashi & blueberries for breakfast, lean cuisine & salad for lunch, banana & a tsp of peanut butter for a snack or greek yogurt and berries, then whatever I've made for my family for dinner but morphed into a salad...if I'm still hungry I'll have microwave popcorn or a protein bar in the evening. It's still a little tricky to figure out how much to eat while breastfeeding, but I'm working on it. I'm planning on moving away from the lean cuisines/prepackaged lunches but have a few in the freezer that need to be eaten. I think I'm going to grill a bunch of chicken breasts this weekend and cut them up for sandwiches next week. How about the rest of you? What are you eating?